I'm going to rape someone's good day.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
