is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
