Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
