Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I skipped work to stalk him.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
