Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
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