So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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