I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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