I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize
