I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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