Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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