508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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