I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
He did a backflip because drugs
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
