got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
this boner is exhausting
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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