thus making me awesome and them whores
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I am naked and annoyed.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
