Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
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