i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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