I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
