I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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