I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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