do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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