I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
