new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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