I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
