they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
well I can't set my house on fire every night
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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