Don't you send me to vm
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
