If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
