Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
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You. Win. At. Life.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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