dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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