Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
