he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
