Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
