remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Randomize
