So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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