is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
