Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
