Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
