So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
