Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
