he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
