I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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