Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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