in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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