I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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