We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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