im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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