I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
