And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
