I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I can't put those talents on a resume
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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