In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
