Cold hands, warm shart.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
