I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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