Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
