Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
