The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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