Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
