i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
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