i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
