I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
PANTIES FOUND
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
