honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
